Are you comfortable being yourself in all situations? If you’re like most people, you’re 90% yourself when you’re with close friends, 50% yourself with casual acquaintances, and hide yourself from strangers. Being your true self in all settings and situations is scary, but ultimately empowering and relaxing. Imagine the relief you’ll experience.
You no longer worry about the perceptions of others. You can just be yourself and feel satisfied with that.
Be yourself and take back control of your life:
- Meditate. Meditation quiets the part of you that judges and labels everything around you. Gain insight into the real you by meditating regularly.
- Tell the truth. When truthful, you reveal yourself. Honesty about your mistakes and shortcomings leads to growth.
- Be unique. No one is exactly alike. We are like snowflakes, each molded by our experiences and perceptions. What music do you listen to when you’re alone? How do you dress? Do you keep the unique parts to yourself or are you willing to share them with the world?
- Notice your crutches and get rid of them. Rocky road ice cream? Mindless internet surfing? A double vanilla café latte? Using crutches to deal with boredom, anxiety or uncertainty blocks you from seeing the truth. Pay attention to the purpose of a particular crutch. Then stop using it and see for yourself.
- Examine the areas in your life that feel inauthentic. When and where do you feel like you’re lacking authenticity? Often it will be during interactions with strangers, first dates, new social experiences, and more formal occasions.
- A lack of authenticity can also occur when you spend time with your parents and siblings. They just don’t seem to want you to change, so you fall back into your old roles.
- Think about the times you’re inauthentic and ask yourself why and do it more often until it becomes the norm.
- Spend your time on things you enjoy. What do you really enjoy? Do you play on the softball league so you’ll fit in? Would you rather be taking rumba lessons? Spend your free time on the things that you’re most passionate about.
- Do one thing you want to do but are afraid to try. The people at the office might laugh if you take up the cello or take an acting class. However, secretly, they’ll be jealous you have the nerve to do something unconventional. Everyone you know is stifled and bored. You can rise above all of that.
- Give your opinion. Not necessarily all of the time, but give your opinion without hurting anyone. Know when to listen and when to speak. Going to see a movie with some friends? Tell them the movie you’d most like to see. The family wants to go to the public pool or the park? Let your opinion be known. If the wife wants to know if she looks fat in her dress? Be smart.
- Get outside. An indoor environment is unnatural. The air is heated or cooled. The lighting is artificial. You can’t see the sun, hear the birds, or feel the grass beneath your feet. Get into a more natural environment and you’ll find it easier to be authentic.
- Strengthen your boundaries. Where your boundaries are weak, your true self is smothered. These are the places we allow others to determine the rules and set the frame. If you find yourself in a place that drains high amounts of energy – strengthen your boundaries.
Overcome your need to fit in and impress others. No matter what you do, some people will be impressed; others won’t. Why worry about it? You’re an amazing person. Allow yourself to be that person every day.
To find out about the Trivedi Effect® and how it can help you stay centered and within your boundaries, contact Inthirani Arul.